After reading a post by Seth Godin the other day called Train Your Customers, I asked myself, “how could you measure in web analytics the ways in which you are training your customers on your website?” So I took his list and thought up how to measure them using different metrics for each. I think if you can first tie a behavior to a metric, you can start to discover ways to increase or decrease that behavior, once you start measuring it.

• Be respectful – You got me on this one. Maybe measure the amount of positive vs. negative comments on a blog? (Crap, blowing it on the first one, keep reading they get better I swear)
• Be patient – In terms of how long it takes the visitor to find what they are looking for: measure Length of Visit under Visitors > Visitor loyalty > Length of Visit. Then use a Visits With Conversions advanced segment to see how patient those people who buy are. Is there a threshold of patience where people give up? How many steps does it take to convert? In terms of page load time use Google’s Page Speed to measure page load times. Another one: bounce rate – this will show how many people are patient enough to read the stuff you put up on your site.
• Keep their satisfaction to themselves – Just like spread the word below except this one is more subjective. You would need to measure the amount of positive feeback compared to negative. How many opportunities to you give people to share with others?
• Be selfish – If the site had any kind of donation aspect you could look at the conversion rate of donations. Or selfish in terms of the kind of content that most interests people. Is  product-centric or customer-centric content more popular? Look under Content > Top Content, use advanced filters.
• Be focused on a superstar – I think measuring the conversion rate of traffic from social media could work for this one. Maybe people are really focused on all the noise you make on Twitter and the amount of visits from those sources turn out to add very little to the bottom line.  Look at Traffic Sources > Referring Sites > flilter for Twitter and then look under the Ecommerce or Goal tab to see conversion rate.
• Demand personal service – Amount of inquiries to customer service. The amount of browsing between different categories could show that amount of personalization someone would want to help them shop.
• Be calm – Pageviews per visit? Bounce rate? Depth of visit? Some visitors can be more click-happy thank others.
• Never settle for the current iteration – kind of like Demand for personal service.
• Be cheap – Ecommerce > Average Order Value. How small of purchases are people making and how are you aquiring for those kinds of visitors?
• Embrace acceptance – how much traffic comes form comparison and review sites? Do people need to be reassured by others or their social circle that purchasing from you is the right decision?
• Spread the word – Amount of clicks on the social “share this” buttons and the amount of inbound links and referring traffic. This can be done in Google Analytics using onclick events.
• Expect pampering – Goal Abandoned Funnels under the Goals tab. Does the lack of free shipping make someone abandon? What kind of pampering is needed to keep people from abandoning the funnel?
• Demand free – How many blog posts, ebooks, free consultations and touches with the customer does it take before they buy? Ecommerce > Visits to Purchase.
• Be eager to switch brands to save a buck – Make a custom segment of Return Visitors and apply it to the transactions report under the Ecommerce tab. If the line is going down returning visitors aren’t coming back to buy. To be able to see the number of purchases from people who previously bought use the User Defined Report.
• Value and honor long-term loyalty – Visitors > Visitor Loyalty > Loyalty. This will show you how many visits were the visitor’s nth visit. The more visits, the more loyal. Also do this test with traffic that comes from paid channels. How many people who come from banener ads end up coming back? Set up an advanced segment from the Campaign Dimension and then put that over the Loyalty report.
• Be skeptical – Amount of visits to purchase. If someone visits the site multiple times before they purchase, chances are they are skeptical. This metric is found under the Ecommerce tab > visits to Purchase. What is causing the skepticism? Make a custom segment  with Count of Visits to a Transaction as the dimension and set it to greater than 3 and see what content these people look at that makes them so skeptical.